


The First Time

by ForgottenGirl



Series: When I Say [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hell, Hurt/Comfort, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 05:43:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11075241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenGirl/pseuds/ForgottenGirl
Summary: The first seal broke, the first time he came to me.And his hands would become weapons, they would be fierce and they would be strong. But first, they'd show mercy.*Prologue* to "When I say I'm  Broken"





	The First Time

The room was dark, and if I had any senses left, I'd know that it was cold and smelled of stale blood—my stale blood. But the ability to feel or even smell for that matter had left me hours ago. My body hung from the ceiling, my tormentor was creative, he 'enjoyed the art of stringing me up.' So he took great pleasure in piercing my flesh, pulling the rope through it, and anchoring it to the bolts in the ceiling. I was his very own puppet.

 

I'd screamed at first. Cried until my voice was gone, until no more tears would come, until I had nothing left to give. All the while he had laughed. He'd laughed and stabbed. There was no point to this, no beginning, no end. Because once he had me all strung up, he'd tear me down, and once I was down, he'd do it all again.

 

“Oh, Jules. Beauty was wasted on you, you know that?”

 

I swallowed as his breath hit my face. The demon in front of me, wore a man that was close to my own age. I wondered briefly if the man was still in there, had he been screaming and crying too as he watched his hands cut away at me?

 

The demon laughed, his head tipping back, like he had heard my thoughts. But he hadn't. I knew this. Because I'd realized not long after first coming here they couldn't read my mind. It was my one and only gift. My ability to think what ever I wanted. Mine. I clung to that.

 

“Come on! Don't look at me like that.” He pointed his knife at me. “You know, if you ever tire of this, there are plenty of other ways we can work on your punishment, huh? Who knows, I think you might even like it.” He grinned as his eyes flicked over my body in a suggestive way.

 

I was naked. I was raw. I was more exposed than I had ever been in all my life. And I should have been terrified by what he wanted to do to me, I should have been sick and repulsed, but I wasn't. Memories of Abby swarmed my mind. I stared past the demon in front of me and I saw Abby, I saw her brown eyes, her long blond hair, her wide smile. I saw her in her scrubs, studying in the late hours of the night, I thought of her laugh. I thought about how, because of this, she got to live. The demon scoffed as he narrowed his eyes at me, I lifted my chin, focused on him, and smiled defiantly. He could take whatever he wanted, because in the end it was worth it. It was all worth it.

 

Rage flashed across his face as he took an angry swing at me with his blade. I sputtered and coughed, as blood fell from my throat. Apparently, my calm resolve at his threat, had not been the reaction he wanted. So today—I would die quickly.

 

My blood poured out to the floor beneath me, this was almost my favorite part. The part where I died again. Because it was always like falling asleep. Warm, cozy, and dark. My head drooped and my body sagged against the ropes that held me up. It wouldn't be long, and I would be given the briefest of breaks. I half sighed as I finally let my eyes close.

 

“Julia!”

 

My eyes snapped open. I was on the floor, in a corner, still in the same room, only now I was dressed. The smell of copper burned my nose. I could smell again, I could feel again.

 

“Nice nap?” The demon smiled as he knelt down in front of me, and I winced away from his harsh foul breath.

 

His fingers gripped my arm tight as he yanked me up and tugged me to the center of the room. It was different this time though. Instead of the many ropes hanging down  waiting to be guided through my skin, there was only a single chain that hung from the ceiling. I stared, stunned as the demon fed my wrists into the cuffs attached to the chain. What was this? Something new? After how many years of the same? A sick feeling twisted in my stomach.

 

“Have fun, Julia.” The demon cooed into my ear.

 

My throat felt tight, and for the first time in a long time... fear crept in. The demon smiled as he walked away, and I flinched at the loud clanking of the door that slammed behind him as he left. What was happening? My eyes scanned the room, I was alone. Hanging by my wrists, my toes barely touching the floor beneath me. But I was alone? Why?

 

I didn't have much time to wonder as the door swung back open only a few minutes later. This was someone new. He kept his head down as he held a hand to his mouth. He lingered there at the door for a long moment, before finally closing it and walking further into the room.

 

My breath hitched when he finally lifted his face to look at me. He was a shattered man. He wore bright green eyes, and a pained expression that told me he was sorry for more than I could ever know.

 

I swallowed as I watched him pull a single knife out from the back of his jeans. He flipped the blade end over end in his hand, staring at it while he did—it was as if he refused to look at me.

 

“Hey.” My voice cracked, it had been so long since I had spoken out loud, it was strange to hear it.

 

He flinched, darting his eyes up to my face, before quickly looking back down to the blade. I watched his Adam's apple bob, as he swallowed.

 

“Hey?” My chest squeezed. Whatever was happening, this wasn't his choosing, it wasn't mine either.

 

He inhaled sharply as he suddenly focused his attention on me again. I stilled under his gaze. He was studying me, his eyes traveling along my body, to my neck, my face. He lingered there, his eyes staring into my own.

 

What was it that he was trying to tell me? I could swear, there was something in those green eyes. They were haunted, and they were desperate to give away their secrets.

 

“I'm sorry.” His voice broke the silence that had fallen over us.

 

I nodded at him. I was sorry too.

 

He shook his head, his hand snapped up to his face to quickly wipe away a tear that had fallen. “I'm so sorry.”

 

I cried out as the blade suddenly plunged into my stomach. White hot pain trickled out to my limbs. It was burning me, but leaving a blissful trail of numbness in its wake.

 

He dropped the blade and fell to his knees. “I'm so sorry. Sorry. I'm so—oh god... forgive me.” His shoulders shook as he sobbed out his apologies.

 

“It's okay. It's okay.” I murmured my answer to his pleas over and over again.

 

I was watching him fall apart in front of me. I blinked as I tried to focus, but the numbness was spreading. I was so tired, so weak. How much blood had I lost? Was I dying already? It was okay.

 

His breath shook as he straightened to look at me. I licked my lips and tried to smile. Because he was being punished too. And I wanted him to know... It was okay.

 

He stood slowly, his eyes lingering on me as he walked closer. My head lulled forward. I was tired. He wrapped his hands around my body as I rested my forehead to his shoulder. I sighed as he lifted me, taking the weight off my wrists. I almost cried as I felt the clasps come undone—I was free.

 

“It's okay.” He soothed as he gently lowered us both to the floor. “It'll be done soon. You're okay.” His voice wavered as he spoke.

 

I smiled, because this was my favorite part. I felt heavy, but light, my limbs were warm, and my eyelids were droopy. And today, I would die by the hands of someone who was sorry. I'd cling to this. I'd cement it in my memory. I'd remember his green eyes, his sorrow, his grief, but mostly his kindness.

 

I forced my eyes to stay open as I stared up at his face. I wanted his name. I opened my mouth, closed it. I wanted to keep him. I wanted his freckles, his lips, his nose to stay with me.

 

He forced a smile as he stared back down at me. Did he know? Did he know I needed to see him smile, so I could remember it? Maybe demons couldn't read my mind, but I was pretty sure... this man could.

 

“Shh. You're okay.”

 

I nodded, and then while he held me in his arms I let myself fall into the darkness. I let it swallow me whole.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
